Your tits are I can't wait for
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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