The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
