So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Im part way to drunk.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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