dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
