But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
