Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
