i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
third nipple confirmed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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