new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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