I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
