What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
