nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think I won the penis lottery.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
