I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
P.S. I can't hear my feet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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