Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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