is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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