HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
