I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
