incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
