You're a womanizer and a bitch.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
