Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
