I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize