good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I want a musical about memes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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