So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
