my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
