Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize