i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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