yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
