super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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