More tranny stories later!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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