note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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