Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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