I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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