What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
