should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
