so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
