There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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