Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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