do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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