I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
