i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
