he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
