there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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