he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
