no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
