I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
