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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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