your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
