He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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