R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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