You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
