If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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