Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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