I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
