yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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