I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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