Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
