Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
