At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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