When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
