Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
