why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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