Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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