thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
